Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
