I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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