Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
