you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
