i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
