There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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