...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
