We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
