well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
