We're facebook friends in real life
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Randomize
