I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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