That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
