I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i think i have two assholes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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