We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
