I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize