I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
