My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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