You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
