So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
