"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
