I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
