Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize