Your tits are I can't wait for
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
