I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
