at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
