She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
