She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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