She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i think i just lost a toe
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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