i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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