Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
