Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just gargled with NyQuil
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
