You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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