Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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