She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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