normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
