and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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