why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
