worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
