at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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