Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize