I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
