I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
