After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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