we have officially mastered the walk of shame
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
