Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
