That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize