well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
