so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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