All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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