I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize