He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
