I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
