come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
worst night to have a conscience
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
