She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
