He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
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