Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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