I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
you never un-have a 4some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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