That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
