White coat. Heels.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The best revenge is premature balding
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
