I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
