Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
