Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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